‘You’ve got a wife’: Working dads taking parental leave report feeling invisible

Working dads are more likely to be questioned when taking leave for a “holiday” compared to women, research from La Trobe University has revealed.

Although the proportion of men taking primary carer parental leave in Australia increased by 12 percentage points over seven years, Australian men accounted for only 17 per cent of the leave taken, according to the Workplace Gender Equality Agency (WGEA) snapshot for 2023–24.

In 2017, the OECD found that about one in every hundred recipients of parental leave in Australia was male.

With the Paid Parental Leave Amendment (More Support for Working Families) Bill 2023 allowing private sector workers 26 weeks of paid parental leave from 1 July 2026, with four weeks for each parent, and the remaining 18 weeks to be shared by the parents and distributed where they see fit, a La Trobe University study revealed the systemic cultural issues that working dads face when applying for leave.

Traditional male breadwinner values, ideal worker values and behaviour and the absence of supportive family-friendly workplace policies and practices were challenges that held working dads back from taking leave to look after their newborn, the La Trobe study found.

“Some new fathers felt invisible in the workplace, with paternity leave likened to a holiday or their new parental role unacknowledged,” the research revealed.

In the study, one father who had taken extended parental leave told researchers about the mentality held at workplaces: “There was that whole, ‘why are you taking leave? You don’t need to take leave; you’ve got a wife’.”

“When fathers defy traditional gender and ideal worker norms, they report encountering stigma and career threats, including lowered organisational status, reduced income/rewards and increased workplace harassment,” the researchers found.

Stacey Hokke wrote the La Trobe paper “I Became a Dad, and It Wasn’t Just All About Work Anymore”: A Qualitative Study of Australian Fathers’ Work-Family Balance, with seven other researchers, collating interviews with 15 working dads between 2019 and 2021 to explore the values and approaches to combining work and family care across the nation.

Culture, not just policy

“Workplace policies can be a limiting factor: more than half (51 per cent) of men who took parental leave reported that their employer’s policy did not render them eligible for the length of leave they would have liked to take,” WGEA research showed.

“Australian survey respondents illustrate the corollary of this: in 2024, 22 per cent of women and 12 per cent of men who took parental leave reported that taking this leave was met with negative comments from managers,” the agency added.

Hokke told HR Leader that the barriers holding working dads back from receiving adequate leave were a lack of recognition and support from workplaces. She argued that workplace culture is crucial for supporting fathers.

“When managers and colleagues prioritise family, it creates an environment where fathers can thrive both at work and at home,” Hokke said.

“In the private sector, 20 per cent of primary carers leave taken by managers is taken by men, compared to 16 per cent of primary carers leave taken by non-managers. The difference is smaller in the public sector, where men account for 12 per cent of leave taken by managers, compared to 11 per cent of leave taken by non-managers,” WGEA found.

WGEA research also found that working dads were more likely to take leave reserved for them if their co-workers did, with the impact greater if the co-worker was a manager.

“Workplaces must provide support to counter ‘societal expectations placed on men to fulfil traditional masculine norms – which do not legitimise a role for men in caregiving’,” WGEA said.

Dr Hokke noted the positive impacts that could be had on workplaces that prioritise the well-being of parents in their workforce.

“Fathers who achieved a positive work-family balance said it gave them more reason to stay in their jobs and be more productive,” the research said.

“Normalising flexible work is essential. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution and workplaces need to recognise the diversity of fathers’ needs,” she added.

Speaking to HR Leader, Hokke emphasised the need for workplaces to recognise the benefits of family leave policies for employers, such as job retention, employee health and well-being and the broader societal benefit to families.

“Our research shows fathers want longer parental leave, ideally between three and six months, with the flexibility to use it in ways that meet the needs of their family.”

“I hope that there's an increase in uptake [and] that fathers feel more supported to take parental leave. That does require more organisational support and active engagement [with] those policies to enable dads to feel comfortable [to take leave].”

“Every dad we spoke to who just wanted to be there and spend more time with their child, and parental leave is one way that that can happen around such a life-changing milestone for men.”