Why insightless leaders need to hear the F-word

Leaders need to be mindful that we all have blind spots, and unless you are gifted with high EQ, the only way to find out about these gaps is to be brave enough to ask, writes Travis Schultz.

I was sitting in a Qantas lounge recently, and given the proximity of the next chair, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of my loud-talking neighbour. With his dress jeans, button-up shirt, blazer, tablet and Berluti briefcase, he embodied the archetype of a “boss”.

As I listened, it seemed that there was an issue with a direct report – a subordinate who had earlier sent an email to a supplier that was “too direct” and “lacking tact and diplomacy”.

For the next 15 minutes, I listened to “bossman” berate his manager, criticising their lack of insight, poor example-setting and leadership skills. His voice nearly broke as he shouted down the phone: “Do not send emails like that without considering the consequences!” After belittling and humiliating him for most of the soliloquy, when “bossman” offered to pay for a leadership skills course for his direct report, the irony was not lost on me.

The incident reminded me of the many times we’ve encountered a line manager, boss or leader who has made turning up to work tough due to their lack of insight into their leadership shortcomings. You know the type – those who do as I say and not as I do. Those who exude a misplaced aura of confidence that smacks of conceit and smells of arrogance yet their performance in the role demonstrates an ineptitude of Exxon Valdez proportion. In professional services firms, it’s sadly all too common – perhaps because we naively promote those who perform well against technical or revenue metrics, assuming these skills will naturally translate into an innate ability to lead.

Much has been written about the attributes of a good leader. Depending on who you prefer to listen to, there are anywhere between four and 16 essential skills of an effective leader. However, one characteristic that appears on every list is self-awareness.

According to organisational psychologist Tasha Eurich, there is both internal self-awareness (understanding our own values, passions, aspirations and fit with our environment) and external self-awareness (understanding how other people view us). Her research indicates that high internal self-awareness is often associated with greater job and relationship satisfaction, personal and social control, and happiness. Conversely, those with high external self-awareness are better at showing empathy and understanding others’ perspectives. Leaders with this skill tend to have better relationships with their teams and are seen as more effective.

From my perspective, leaders with high emotional intelligence (EQ) are more often self-aware. But as Donald Rumsfeld famously said, there are known knowns, known unknowns and unknown unknowns. And in leadership, when leaders find themselves insightless as to their shortcomings, they need to hear the “F” word – feedback. How else can a leader who is blind to their capability gaps consciously take steps to grow in that area?

However, it can take real strength of character for a team member to offer advice and feedback to their boss – so don’t expect that to happen. Rather, as leaders, we need to be mindful that we all have blind spots, and unless you are gifted with high EQ, the only way to find out about these gaps is to be brave enough to ask. Plenty of 360-degree frameworks exist to guide the self-discovery process and enable leaders to develop a deeper understanding of self and impact on others.

Leaders with high self-awareness are more empathetic, understanding and capable of building trust and engagement within their teams. If my Qantas lounge neighbour had received the “F” word about his demeanour and condescending tone and its demotivating impact, I wonder if he would have become a better prospect for leading an engaged and high-performing team.

Travis Schultz is the managing partner of Travis Schultz & Partners, a Queensland-based law firm.