Valentine’s Day lessons for recruitment and retention

The impact of genuine appreciation and charm is wedded to how people feel about themselves after interacting with human resources, writes Sue Parker.

Love fills the air with roses, chocolates, jewellery, restaurant bookings and romantic gestures every year on 14 February for St Valentine’s Day.

Expressions of love and heartfelt promises are charmingly delivered with the intent to make the recipient feel special and cherished.

While, yes, it can be all very cheesy and Hallmark card-driven, it’s also a bubble of fun and joy for so many.

Appreciation, care, and charm are the nucleus of romance but are also foundational for any type of relationship. So, there is much value in the tenets of St Valentine’s Day to bring to business and hiring.

But before anyone throws chocolate boxes and bottles of champagne my way, let me clearly state what charm is and is not.

I’m not talking about any gendered, surreptitious, seductive manoeuvres, sleazy innuendos, misogyny or manipulative behaviours.

Nor am I referring to disingenuous promises, sycophantic actions, effusive self-serving compliments, commercial deceit, narcissism, or snake oil sales flattery.

Charm, when used for good intent, is the quality of politeness, delight, attraction, fascination, curiosity, and captivating others. It’s about showing genuine interest in others and helping them feel special, wanted and valued.

The case for charm

It’s a fair call to say we all hanker for more joy and feel-good moments in our lives. However, the happy hormones (serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins) can be in short supply in workplaces and recruitment.

The neuroscience and benefits of happy chemicals are well documented. Genuine charm and gratitude have a significant impact on professional lives, creativity, and mental and physical wellbeing.

And it makes good economic and long-term business sense.

In the hiring ecosystem, the tide can and does turn. The hiring manager or recruiter today can be the candidate tomorrow. And a supplier today could be a sought-after client tomorrow.

And we all perform better and willing to go the extra mile for others who show appreciation and genuine interest.

What does genuine charm look like?

Being charming starts with sincere and respectful intentions to have positive interactions and build honest business and human relationships.

It’s important to differentiate between being charismatic and charming, as they are not always mutually exclusive.

Charismatic people and leaders are mostly extremely confident, influential, and engage broadly with wide impact. On the other hand, being charming is more of a “person-to-person” focus with the essence of a desire to support and give to another. The former can also be a PR reputation ploy, but that is for another article.

The first few minutes of any interaction are critical. Even the first few lines of an email, SMS, or social media message will frame the communication and appreciation, as well as the charm direction. Elements include:

• Good manners – on and off line. Manners never go out of style.
• Identifying and giving genuine compliments.
• Smiling and eye contact – showing enthusiasm.
• Being fully present – not on mobiles, distracted/glancing around.
• Initiating curious conversations, be interested and really listen.
• Acknowledgement of time and effort.
• Having fun and being a little light-hearted.
• Prior research of people to demonstrate interest.
• Banter and playfulness.
• Saying thank you at every opportunity.
• Tips to implement.

For employers

• The mindset shift is to appreciate that employers and candidates are of equal value in the hiring ecosystem. This is of even greater importance for senior and executive roles.
• At interview, show real enthusiasm to meet the candidate and gratitude for their time.
• Share upfront what impressed you about their background and application. Demonstrate what you saw as particularly special about them and why you wanted to interview them.
• Say what you mean and do what you say in all follow-up communications and timelines.
• For unsuccessful candidates who have gone through the interview process, don’t delay feedback and share what you appreciated about their input.
• It shouldn’t need to be said, but it does. Always respond to every application and write emails with respect and appreciation (even the automated ones).

For candidates

• The mindset shift is to put yourself in the shoes of the hiring manager and employer. They are also human and want to feel a little special and that their company and role had been chosen. Make the employer and hiring managers feel a little special.
• Flicking CVs to any role is obvious and indicates a lack of care. Don’t do it.
• In cover letters, share the reason why you admire the organisation and are keen to work there. Demonstrate that you have taken the time to learn about the employer and communicate that in your application.
• At interview, reinforce and impart the knowledge and respect you have for the organisation, market reputation and leadership.

The impact of genuine appreciation and charm is wedded into how people feel about themselves after interacting with you. Whether that be in person, via Zoom, email or phone, people will either feel devalued and demotivated or valued and energised.

Sue Parker is the owner of DARE Group Australia and a communications, job search and career specialist.