My best ever performance review (and it didn't come from any of my bosses)

The corporate world I started in is not the one we are in now. We are seeing a massive shift in how businesses support parents by moving from occasional flexibility towards true autonomy, writes Emma Mani.

As a working mother of three, I have spent two decades mastering the art of The Push. I pushed for the career, the salary, the perfect home, and I pushed super hard for the gold standard of parenting – whatever your definition of that might be. I have worked pretty hard, often giving when there was quite literally nothing left in the tank.

But if I’m honest, I’m not advocating for the grind. For years, I placed myself at the back of the queue. My health and quiet happiness were frequently traded for another hour of emails or presentations. Like many women, I have fallen into a heap on the sofa many evenings, exhausted, while still being asked, “What are you thinking for dinner?” Why is it always dinner time?

Last week, however, I received a reward that reframed everything. It wasn’t a promotion or a pay increase but a text from my 20-year-old daughter on her birthday, which said:

“I have been thinking and appreciating you extra today! Thank you for taking such good care of me the past 20 years. I am so proud of the woman I am becoming, and that is all thanks to you. You’re truly the most incredible woman and my biggest inspiration. Love you with my whole heart.”

Receiving that “performance review” was overwhelming, but it also made me pause. While I am moved that she saw my strength, my wish for her generation is different. I want our daughters to see us not just as survivors of the juggle, but as women who are both at the front of the queue and in executive roles – those who prioritise their health, yet have time to attend the milestone events for their children.

The grind shouldn’t be the prerequisite for motherhood or leadership roles. We are at a turning point in 2026 where the “motherhood penalty” is finally being replaced by more practical work design.

Looking back, the corporate world I started in is not the one we are in now. We are seeing a massive shift in how businesses support parents by moving from occasional flexibility towards true autonomy. This includes what is sometimes called microshifting, which involves breaking work into periods that actually fit a human life.

Forward-thinking companies are adopting structural support such as phased returns from leave, 24/7 family healthcare access, and gender-neutral parental leave that encourages partners to share the load. Ultimately, we are seeing an evolution in how we view ambition itself. Modern research shows that motherhood refines ambition, making us more selective, more focused, and higher-impact because our time is precious.

To the mothers in the thick of it, I want to say that I see you. I see the exhaustion. But I also want you to know that it is OK and necessary to put on your own oxygen mask first.

We push for a world where our daughters have the same opportunities as anyone else in any field they choose. But we must also model for them that having it all doesn’t have to mean giving everything else away until there is nothing left.

My daughter is proud of the woman she is becoming, which is my greatest achievement. My goal now is to make sure she sees a mother who is just as proud of her own wellbeing and choices as she is of her career.

Emma Mani is the director of people and culture JAPAC at GumGum.

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