Why we shouldn’t hate small talk in the workplace

Small talk is often revered as a bit of a communicational drag that people want to avoid. However, its importance in the workplace and business is profound.

We recently spoke with David Crisante, founder of the Sydney Comedy School, about the keys to workplace communication. Small talk was a large aspect of the conversation. Mr Crisante pushed back on some of the common tropes regarding it and explained its importance in business endeavours.

“What we’re trying to do with small talk is demonstrate how we see the world in the same perspective as the person that we’re speaking to. What this enables us to do is when we get to the important stuff, they’re sort of already on our side,” Mr Crisante said.

“If we can demonstrate that we see the world in the same way as them, they can almost see themselves in us. Therefore, it becomes really logical for them to agree with us and support us. It’s in their best interest to do so because, in effect, we’re going to support them back.”

Small talk can often be a tough carry and can become awkward and uncomfortable. Mr Crisante believes there are different elements that can be relied on to ensure that small talk flows cohesively, avoiding any uncomfortable situations.

“A really easy way to engage in small talk is to use our senses. Sight, smell, touch, [and] hearing are important because our senses don’t lie; we probably have the same experience in terms of our senses as somebody else,” Mr Crisante said.

“It’s for this reason that when it’s a warm day, we’re very likely to talk about how warm it is and how nice it feels. When it’s a cold day, we’re a bit likely to say, wish it was warmer because we know instinctively that other people will have roughly the same feelings about that.”

These similar feelings can harbour a good start to a positive small-talk session and can be a catalyst for avoiding an interview kind of vibe when it comes to small talk. Question-based small talk is something that must be avoided, according to Mr Crisante.

“The challenge when we have a question-based form of small talking is you’re answering questions, and you’re not really sure why that person is asking them or what they’re going to do with the information,” Mr Crisante said.

“As the person asking the question, you’re racking your brain to ask a good question, but you’re not necessarily validating what the other person has said. When you’re with your mates, for example, nine times out of 10, you’re just engaging in small talk. It’s sort of a nothing conversation, but it’s really fun.”

The key to business-orientated small talk is to aim for genuine caring of the person you’re communicating with. If you don’t care about them, it becomes increasingly difficult to engage and conversate with them in any meaningful dialogue, as they will feel disconnected and somewhat uninspired.

Usually, in terms of business, we are conversing with someone to gain something in return because they’re going to assist us with achieving something. Therefore, it’s important to raise their priority from our perspective.

“The trick with small talk is both to say statements and to pause strategically to invite the other person to participate. After a while, if they don’t, you’ve learned, hey, that person doesn’t want to engage with me, or after two or three times of doing it, they’re going to break down and they are going to participate because it’s too socially awkward to leave that silence hanging,” said Mr Crisante.

Furthermore, business small chats are about establishing an understanding: “What’s really important is to establish this understanding of I see you as a person more than I see you as a position. So, then, it’s really incumbent on us to speak to people rather than ask them questions. And that’s honestly the trick with small talk.”

“If you find out that somebody really senior has children and you have children, you can bond with them about that well in advance before you ask for a promotion or whatever it is that you’re going for.”

Having small-talk skills can be crucial to creating good relationships in the business space; attempting to skip past small talk altogether can negate numerous business opportunities and reduce productivity; therefore, hating it altogether can come back to bite you.

The transcript of this podcast episode was slightly edited for publishing purposes. To listen to the full conversation with David Crisante, click below: