The leadership mistake quietly driving generational tension at work

Generational awareness and other human-centred frameworks will always give you a better understanding and context, but nothing ever beats the personalised insight of the people you lead, writes Kylie Paatsch.

According to the World Economic Forum, for the first time in history, six generations are working side by side. Studies from institutions such as Griffith University, along with workplace reports from companies like Workday, suggest that many leaders are finding it difficult to manage across generations, often without a clear road map and an effective approach.

Good intentions, wrong approach

Marcus had always been a capable leader. Good instincts, strong relationships and a team that generally performed well. But the last six months had been a struggle. His team members were reacting differently to the same situations. What motivated one person seemed to frustrate another. Getting everyone on the same page felt harder than it used to. Conversations that should have been straightforward weren’t.

When a colleague suggested the friction might be down to the different generations on his team, it made sense. Marcus had people at very different life stages – different tenures, different experiences, different ways of working. So, when he came across a webinar on leading a multigenerational workforce, he signed up.

The session was genuinely useful. It gave him a broader understanding of how life experiences, communication preferences, workplace expectations and motivators can differ across generations. Feeling equipped, he went back to his team and started applying the techniques he had learnt. But after months of consciously trying, the things that had frustrated him hadn’t really changed. If anything, some of his team members seemed more disengaged than before. He couldn’t put his finger on why.

Then one of his team members asked if she could have a word. She was direct. “I feel like you’ve put me in a Gen Z box,” she said. “You assume I need constant recognition and reassurance, and I don’t. You think all I’m going to care about is career progression, and right now, I don’t. I just want to do my job well. You keep seeing me as a generation rather than a person, and if I’m really honest, it’s annoying and I’ve lost some respect for you.”

Leading the label

Marcus hadn’t seen it coming. He had been trying to do right by his team. He had done the work, followed the framework and acted with good intentions. He felt deflated and further from his team than when he started.

Marcus had made the mistake many leaders do after learning a new behavioural model – he had started leading the label rather than the individual.

Generational awareness and other human-centred frameworks will always give you a better understanding and context, but nothing ever beats the personalised insight of the people you lead.

Know them

There is not a human being on the planet who does not want to be heard, seen, and understood. In my 30 years of leadership and more than two decades of coaching and working alongside leaders, that is the one thing I have never seen change, regardless of generation, role, industry or background. When it comes to workplace relationships, I have found there are three things that you need to really understand:

1. Your people’s WHY.

2. Your people’s WAY.

3. Your people’s WANTS.

Why is what drives, guides, and fulfils your people. It shows up in the work that energises them, the things they defend, and the moments that make them proud or frustrated. When you understand someone’s “why”, you stop guessing what motivates them and start leading in a way that actually means something to them.

Way is how your people operate. How they prefer to communicate, receive feedback, make decisions and stay effective when things get tough. When you understand someone’s “way”, you stop leading your way and start leading in a way that works for them.

Wants are what your people are working towards. What they want to learn, achieve or experience next and what they need from you to feel supported getting there. When you understand someone’s “wants”, you stop assuming and start connecting their everyday work to what actually matters to them.

The bottom line

Knowing these three things will give you the insight you need to lead each of your people individually, regardless of the decade they were born in. They will also help you engage and get the buy-in of your team. And last but not least, they will ensure your leadership is never presumptuous.

Leading multiple generations is here to stay. While generational awareness may help, nothing will ever beat knowing what your team members individually want, need, and desire.

Kylie Paatsch is an author and leadership coach.

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