How intentional language turns good leaders into great ones

Notice the language you use – with yourself and with others. Your words have power, writes Jordana Borensztajn.

Every time we speak – in a meeting room, on a stage, or over coffee with a friend – we’re not just sharing information. As leaders, we’re creating an experience with our words. I learnt the power of this firsthand. I was sitting at my desk, asking yet another question about a piece of content I was working on. As a former journalist, I was accustomed to having every piece of writing edited, checked, and approved before it was published. So when I asked my boss yet another question, his response shocked me. He looked me straight in the eye and said three magic words: “I trust you.”

My reaction was immediate. I sat up straighter, and my chest opened. I whispered a surprised “thank you” and turned back to my computer to hit publish. From that moment, everything changed. I stopped chasing validation, and I became way more creative and expansive with my concepts. And there’s research to support this positive impact. In a famous study from the 1960s, elementary school students were selected at random, and their teachers were told these students were intellectually gifted. By the end of the year, those selected demonstrated higher results – believed to be connected to their teachers’ higher expectations. The belief of “I trust you” awakened something deeper in me. And this is because our words don’t just describe reality; they create it.

The power of ‘imagine’

After running hundreds of public speaking workshops across Australia, I’ve seen how language can instantly shut us down or open our minds. In my previous journalism jobs – before my boss said “I trust you” – I had heard lots of cautious language:

• “Let me take a look at that first.”
• “Run it past another journalist.”
• “We need another source on this.”

But “I trust you” gave me power; the knowing that I was capable, trusted, and free to create. It highlighted the impact of language and the power of the words we use in every interaction. When I ask students, “What are your strengths?” I often hit a wall of resistance. Many of us are afraid to talk about what makes us different. But in public speaking, we must own our strengths and get comfortable saying them out loud. So when a student struggles, I use one powerful word: imagine.

I ask participants to play a game of imagination with me. “Imagine you’re a different version of yourself, one who loves public speaking. And imagine that the highlight for everyone is hearing you give a speech.” One recent workshop participant couldn’t find any positive words to share about herself. But when I asked her to imagine she was someone else – someone who looked just like her but felt confident and excited about presenting – she lit up. “This version of me speaks three different languages and loves cooking and dancing,” she said. “She’s playful and sees the best in others. She has an amazing network and is really good at developing relationships.” The word imagine did what months of coaching couldn’t. It moved her from a rigid mindset into a playful space, bypassing her defences and shifting her focus from limitations to possibilities. And she wasn’t just listing strengths; she was embodying them.

4 powerful language swaps

Through years of exploring language – as a keynote speaker, public speaking trainer, journalist, hypnotist, magician, and mentalist – I’ve learnt potent word swaps that instantly change how we see ourselves, and our belief in our own potential.

1. Add “yet” to limiting phrases

“I can’t” is a brick wall and an instant block. Adding one word – yet – changes everything because it opens new possibilities:

“I can’t present confidently … yet.”

2. Replace “but” with “and”

“I had a great presentation but I stumbled.”

The word but is like a giant whiteboard eraser and wipes everything that came before it. When you replace but with and, both parts of the sentence become simultaneously true and valid:

“I had a great presentation and I stumbled.”

3. Swap “should” for “choose”

“I should be more confident” feels heavy because the word should often carries shame or guilt. When you instead use the word choose, it becomes deeply empowering:

“I choose to build confidence.”

4. Transform “try” into “becoming”

“Try” sets us up for failure before we begin. If I say “Try to work out this riddle,” it’s implied you’ll fail. Using the word becoming is a powerful replacement.

“I’m trying to get healthy” versus “I’m becoming healthy” land in completely different ways.

Your words, your reality

When my boss said “I trust you”, he gave me permission to trust myself. Those three words transformed me from someone seeking validation into someone fully empowered.

So this week, notice the language you use – with yourself and with others. Your words have power. So choose words that inspire. Choose words that open minds. And remember those three magic words: “I trust you.” Say them to yourself. Say them to others.

Jordana Borensztajn is an author, a keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, communications expert, and former journalist turned stand-up comedian.