Why our fascination with office gossip is good for us

At the mere mention of gossip, we shy away. Deemed unprofessional, our sharp, vehement response is a negative reflex, shunning the assumed shame of being in any way involved. Up there with “politics”, it’s low rent and not what well-respected managers and leaders do. But we can’t help it, and we do. Maybe we don’t realise we gossip 52 minutes a day?

Gossip has been researched and written about by experts, social psychologists, sociologists, philosophers and theologists. It is a controversial topic with valid arguments. History shows gossip’s origination, a trusted, spiritual affinity with another, serving as a sponsor at a baptism, i.e., a godparent. The inner sanctum of privileged trust and confidence.

In today’s world, gossip is much maligned, even with misogynist connotations. At its worst, it is seen as damaging and malicious. Otherwise, superficial, idle, benign even, easily wiped from the periphery with a cursory swat. There is no middle ground or latitude for gossip goodness.

Yet, in its simplest form, gossip is an exchange of information typically regarding an absent third party. Gossip helps us bond and build relationships. In its purity, it’s human connection. Let’s drop the façade and admit we are fascinated with gossip. It is not only normal but also good for us.

Society’s cohesive glue

British anthropologist Robin Dunbar asserts gossip is what makes human society possible.

It brings us together and provides societal structure and order. Whether it’s our obsession with celebrities, royalty, or those closer to home, friends, and colleagues, we all seek extra information titbits, intelligence, data, and precious human interaction.

An inside snippet, a semblance of understanding, and a glimpse at a world that seems so far apart and yet is exactly like ours. Validation. Suddenly we are brought together, a shared social identity. Not so disparate after all. That’s gossip’s connective cohesive power.

Gossip builds social capital

Feeding from positive endorphins, we continue asking, probing, and peeling back the layers to understand further, identify, and belong. Unwrapping today’s complex working environment, we have never been so technologically connected and yet psychologically so unyoked. We are not fascinated so much as desperate to be a part of another’s life. So, we should; humans need humans. The interconnectivity of relationships is society’s effective functioning order.

Currently, 96 per cent of knowledge workers are either fully remote or hybrid working. We have the most advanced technology to connect but are eerily disengaged. The year ending February 2022 saw 9.5 per cent job mobility, the highest rate since 2012, with the share of mobility, highest for professionals, at 22 per cent.

Zoom’s success? Don’t be fooled by the gadgetry. It was the ability to peer into another’s life. Children in the background, dogs barking, laundry piling up. Yes, the household mess and disarray gave us comfort and trust. We are the same! The value of gossip is seen as a reminder of the good old days when office corners had a whisper. We need the whisper.

Underground and illicit

According to evolution theory, gossip or the spread of information was developed to facilitate group cooperation; it helped warn of threats and control undesirable behaviours. It’s instinctive, primal and will always be a part of our human fabric.

Translated to today’s climate, post-pandemic, heightened global economic uncertainty, Ukraine war, and we continue to have our abundance of threats. Conversations, facile or complex, seeking understanding, information and relatedness provide valid psychological security, safety, and solace. Label gossip as illicit; it becomes our shame, pushed underground. But, it will always be omnipresent.

Let gossip be your business performer

No matter how skilled we are at corporate communication, offline evaluative conversations are always sought. If you want your culture, team, and business to thrive, accept and allow these discussions, gossip or otherwise. Lead by example and actively partake with appropriate respect and boundaries.

Transparency and business leaders as truth sources are one of the most vital forms of capital a leader has today. Gossip, at its core, is a valued and legitimate platform for employees to feel listened to and heard. The moment we lose our fascination with gossip, the curiosity and intrigue of others, we stop holding our unique humanness.

Gossip doesn’t need to be bad. That is our fear of controlling the narrative. Let it be our safety blanket, protecting us from being too rigid and morally right as we feebly attempt to discard the human search for connection and pleasure, superficial or otherwise.

Roxanne Calder is the author of “Employable – 7 Attributes to Assuring Your Working Future”. She is also the founder and managing director of EST10.