What my chronic illness taught me about leadership

The gift of illness was that it forced me to learn this the hard way. I would not wish that on anyone. But leaders do not have to wait for crises to adopt these lessons, writes Chiron Yeng.

At eight years old, I was diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune skin condition and told I would need medication for the rest of my life. That sentence shaped my childhood. By the time I reached my teens, I was already carrying the weight of burnout. I worked harder than anyone, but my body was collapsing. I was cycling through stress, perfectionism, and loneliness, trying to prove myself in environments that only rewarded performance. On the outside, I looked productive. On the inside, I was exhausted.

At 16, I did something that most people thought was reckless. I stopped the medication that had become part of my identity. It wasn’t an act of defiance – it was an act of reverence. I knew I needed another way. That choice marked the beginning of a long journey into natural healing and, later, into leadership.

From my early 20s, I sought out teachers across the world. Shamans, healers, spiritual teachers, and contemplative psychologists in South Africa, Taiwan, Peru, and the United States; all of them shaped my understanding of what it means to be human, to lead, and to heal.

The common thread was this: healing begins when we turn within. Leadership, I learned, requires the same shift.

Two decades later, I now understand how illness, recovery, and spiritual transformation gave me lessons no book ever could. They are lessons I now share with leaders who want to create cultures that thrive.

Lesson one: No one is coming to save you

For years, I outsourced responsibility to doctors, protocols, and authority figures. All it did was keep me sick. The turning point was realising that waiting for someone else to fix my life was a form of self-abandonment. When I took ownership, I built self-trust. That trust allowed me to make hard decisions and follow through.

The same applies in organisations. Leaders who wait for change from above waste valuable time. Cultures shift when individuals step forward, take ownership, and model the behaviours they want to see. Accountability is contagious. When leaders hold it, their teams learn to do the same.

Lesson two: Inaction is the greatest mistake

Illness made me cautious. I worried about making mistakes, so I froze, and standing still only made it worse. Forgiving myself quickly for errors and moving forward offered momentum and new possibilities.

In leadership, indecision is one of the most expensive habits. Employees lose confidence when they see hesitation drag on. Progress requires experimentation, adjustment, and the courage to try again. For HR professionals, this might mean piloting new wellbeing programs, revising policies that no longer work, or giving managers permission to lead differently. The cost of inaction is far greater than the cost of imperfect action.

Lesson three: ‘I don’t know’ is powerful

One of the most liberating phrases I’ve ever learned is “I don’t know.” It opened the door to new teachers, new practices, and better outcomes. Pretending I had the answers only kept me locked in old patterns.

Leaders often feel pressure to project certainty. However, real trust is built when leaders admit what they don’t know and invite others into the conversation. Humility turns uncertainty into collaboration. For HR teams, this could look like asking employees what support they need instead of assuming. It creates psychological safety and better solutions.

Lesson four: The real obstacle is not the illness

Looking back, the hardest part of illness wasn’t the disease itself. It was the doubt and the noise from others. Friends, family, even professionals told me change was impossible. The battle was not against the condition, but against the voices that said I couldn’t do it.

In workplaces, the same pattern plays out. Often, the barrier isn’t the project itself; it’s the resistance, politics, and relational stress that weigh teams down. Leaders must learn to filter that noise and support their people in trusting their own judgement. HR professionals can play a vital role by creating structures that reduce relational stress, whether through clear communication channels, conflict resolution, or leadership training that centres on trust.

Lesson five: Grit comes from moving towards pain

Illness taught me to build a relationship with pain. Not to glorify it, but to learn from it. Avoiding discomfort only made me weaker. Facing it built resilience. That doesn’t mean pushing through recklessly; it means recognising limitations without being defined by them.

In leadership, pain often looks like difficult conversations, tough feedback, or decisions that won’t please everyone. Moving towards those moments, rather than avoiding them, builds resilience and trust.

For HR leaders, supporting managers to sit with discomfort – whether it’s restructuring a team or addressing performance – creates healthier workplaces and sustainability for the long run.

Healing and leadership belong together

For most of my early life, I believed success was about pushing through. Now I understand that true success is built from the inside out. Healing and leadership are not separate. A nervous system in balance is a more strategic asset than any policy document. A culture that prioritises trust and purpose will always outperform one built on pressure and fear.

The gift of illness was that it forced me to learn this the hard way. I would not wish that on anyone. But leaders do not have to wait for a crisis to adopt these lessons.

Take ownership. Move forward even when it’s messy. Admit what you don’t know. Filter the noise. Build resilience by facing discomfort.

These are the foundations of leadership that endures. They are also the building blocks of healthier workplaces. If HR leaders can weave these principles into how they design systems, develop managers, and support teams, they will not only reduce burnout but create cultures where people can thrive.

That is what leadership, and healing, should look like.

Chiron Yeng is an international speaker, bestselling author, and a mentor to heart-led coaches.